This insight is one of three around the theme of Mourning, Lament, Comfort. Bible readings to refer to are: Matthew 5. Nehemiah 1 – 2. Psalm 56.
A time to mourn! (Ecclesiastes 3 v 4)
Jesus shed tears as he mourned and lamented the loss of Lazarus, friends and family during his earthly life. He offered miraculous comfort and was supported by those who loved him. Life and death is all around but how we survive and move forward will be different for each one of us.
After many months of personal reflection on these broad themes I think you will find it beneficial to try and differentiate for yourself the processes of mourning, lamenting and where and how you find comfort?
Mourning is ……………………………………………………………………………..?
Lamenting is …………………………………………………………………………….?
Comfort is ……………………………………………………………………………….?
Personally
I think when we enter a period of mourning we experience a sharp, shocking, painful and sudden loss. It can be caused by various events in life such as physical death, the ending of relationships, redundancy, or a loss of significant health and valuables.
Loss is always unwelcomed and untimely even if we see it coming. When we enter a time of mourning each one of us will experience it in different ways according to our gender, circumstances, cultural and religious backgrounds. There are over a hundred references to mourning in the bible.
Second Beatitude
Jesus in Matthew 5: 4 refers to those who mourn and offers a promise that they will find comfort. Yet we may ask, how can we ever be blessed or happy when we face loss, even if we find that illusive comfort for the present and the future?
Nehemiah
In Chapter 1, Nehemiah receives news about the city of Jerusalem, where he used to live, which caused him to exhibit a mournful face in front of the King he was serving. “Why does your face look so sad?” asked King Artaxerxes.
In fear, Nehemiah (chapter 2) shared about how his people were ‘in trouble and disgrace.’ He spoke about the broken walls that surrounded Jerusalem and the gates that had been burned.
In hearing such news the King unexpectedly allowed Nehemiah to restore the walls and gates in an agreed timescale, as well as giving him written permissions, materials and guards to protect him as he faced opposition and hostility.
20/20 vision
When the sudden distress of grief falls, expected or unexpected, confusion and sadness envelops us which can severely affect our minds, spirits and bodies. During this year we have all experienced events that have caused us to acutely mourn what we are missing and may have triggered deep concerns within us.
We may feel that we have not received sufficient pastoral care and support from the church we attend? We are annoyed and frustrated at not being able to give and receive from our immediate family and friends? We grive in our hearts as we reflect on all the people and situations that we have suddenly lost.
However, in compensating such losses we may experience unexpected gains. People have showered us with lots of practical love and compassion. We have known an extra sense of the personal presence of God. The advent of new technology in various forms has been a ‘zoom and bonus’ and made a great difference. We have had opportunities to help people in their own particular need.
Sharing our loss
When we pass through a time of mourning it is important to be able to speak about our grief to those willing to listen. We don’t necessarily have to be rescued but having someone there to understand in the midst of our loss will make all the difference in the short and long term. Deep sorry and sadness can be likened to carrying a large sack of potatoes that eventually become too heavy for us to bear.
The writer asks God to record/list in his book, tears that have been placed in a ‘scroll/wineskin/bottle.’ It is important to identify our tears of loss and then express them in a safe and personal place. I often think that at Holy Communion we have an opportunity to confess and receive God’s forgiveness and grace especially in areas where we mourn and have concerns.
The tears of Jesus reflected his loss and sadness yet he would have experienced many moments of shared love and joy. It is important that we offer up our own heartfelt ‘tears’ of sadness that can be accompanied by tears of thanksgiving, knowing that in the course of time, as we express our intense grief, ‘those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy’ (Psalm 126:5).
The ‘museum of memories’ is a place where we record that which we have lost with a mixture of sadness and thanksgiving. This will lead us into a process of transition, to negotiate, that will help us push forward into a new chapter of life.
Graham
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