I would like to introduce Julie my lovely wife. Together we have navigated many periods of sadness and difficulties within the family, alongside friends and supported numerous individuals and families within community.
Julie has worked as a nurse within the NHS and after retraining had the privilege of supporting many people as a Therapeutic Counsellor.
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I have been very much aware, both personally and professionally, of the process of lament in the Christian tradition. However Julie, I am intrigued as to how that may lead to a greater sense of trust, hope and praise?
So I have the great delight of asking Julie if she could enlighten us as to how that process of lament takes place as found in the Bible and particularly in the life of Jesus.
Julie replies:
Thank you for your welcome Graham and asking me about the topic of lament which is a very relevant question for both people of faith and no faith in a fast and challenging world and what that means.
Just recently I have been dwelling on the subject of lament in preparation for a silent retreat I was co-leading in North Wales. In responding to your question Graham I think it would be good to combine an answer with sharing some of the points we reflected on during the retreat.
In general there are two types of lament as exampled by the Prophets, within the Psalms and by Jesus himself. Individual lament: relates to our own personal concerns. Communal lament: is where people of God come together to lament during national crises and for the injustices of the world.
Definition of Lament
In considering a dictionary definition of lament, it says ‘it is to express sorrow, regret or unhappiness about something’.
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In regards to Biblical lament it is not just a formal expression of sorrow or mourning but it is a calling out to God, a turning of our face towards him. It is a recognition of God in our situation and calling for action from him. It contains an unexpected element that differs radically from sorrow, regret or unhappiness for it can end in praise to God.
The process of lament is an ancient Christian practice modelled for us by Jesus. The writers of the Psalms and some of the Old Testament Prophets have practised lament and are referred to extensively throughout the New Testament.
As a practicing Jew, Jesus would have participated in the communal praying and singing of the Psalms that included those representing cries of lament. It would have formed Jesus’s own back drop for his personal practice of lament as we observe in the Garden of Gethsemane. He also wept over Jerusalem and for his dear friend Lazarus.
In Hebrews 5: 7 it says “In the days of His flesh Jesus offered up prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to Him who is able to save Him from death.”
Lament is a place where we can be honest before God and bring our pain, bitterness, anguish, complaints, and our doubts. Also our questions, deep grief and suffering before God and others for the injustice that we see around us.
Emotional Barriers
Within British culture we often have that ‘stiff upper lip’, and just crack on with things! We may be told that it is a weakness to show emotions or a vulnerability which can lead us to bury our pain and our emotions to the extent we don’t even know what we are feeling.
Recently I read this quote: “So many of us cover up vulnerability and we find ourselves enclosed, sheltered, but it doesn’t take much for the shelter to become a prison.”
As Christians we can sometimes feel it is not spiritual to express our anger, confusion, bewilderment, sorrow and disappointment to God. We can feel ashamed for how we are feeling. Yet at least one third of the Psalms are laments to God and we know that Jesus himself expressed depths of sorrow to his heavenly Father.
The Lord knows our hearts and what we are thinking and carrying and he wants to hear our laments. The Lord gives us permission to do so and we should not be afraid to express our inner emotions and bring them to the Lord.
Psalm of lament
Consider for a moment reading Psalm 13. Here King David begins his lament by turning his face to the Lord and feels that the Lord is far from him. He is full of sorrow as he thinks about his enemy who is using an entire nation to pursue him. David may have felt overwhelmed, powerless and helpless and that God has forgotten him and turned away from him.
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He is left alone to wrestle with his doubts. His whole life has been shaken and turned around. He can see no end to his suffering. He looks in vain for a way to defeat his enemies and finally looks to the Lord in faith and asks for an answer, which represents a real turning point for David.
His request is not merely for knowledge but for an explanation to know why these things were happening to him. David asks for enlightenment and to know extra energy and strength. He knows that it is only God who can rescue him, for unless the Lord intervenes David expects to be defeated and believes his enemies are already celebrating because of his fear.
Yet David’s faith does not fail. Though he lacks full understanding as to why certain things are happening, he maintains his trust in God. He relies on God’s unfailing love and rejoices in his salvation. David recalls the Lords goodness to him and this causes him to sing. The Psalm begins on a note of sorrow and ends with a joyful song.
I wonder if that Psalm resonates with you. Practising the spiritual formation of lament takes time and it is not easy. We are not on our own for God is with us as we lament, as expressed in Psalm 46: 1 “He is our refuge and strength a present help in trouble”
Four Stages of Lament
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For a moment may I introduce to you four stages of lament as modelled in many of the Psalms of Lament?
- Turning to God in an intentional manner wherein we take our pain to our Heavenly Father in prayer rather than running or hiding from Him.
- Bringing our complaints to God from the depths of our being. It is important that nothing seems to be off limits in terms of want we can bring to God in our suffering as shown in the Bible such as anger and fury. We register our frustrations about our circumstances and the injustices in life and even a perceived silence from God.
- Asking boldly we cry out to God who loves us and wants to act and intervene. He wants to provide help which represents his character and promises faithfulness, justice and love.
- Choosing to trust. In surrendering to God it acts as an anchor that strengthens our hope in God. We make a decision to trust in God’s sovereignty, faithfulness and love despite any immediate and ongoing pain and distress. We remember the way God has been faithful to us in the past. And helps us to trust him for the future.
These stages are not always linear, more often than not they can be messy, emotional and sometimes a circular process. We are human and frail and we can sometimes get stuck in one stage for an extended period.
Lament can be an ongoing repetitive battle, it is helpful to recognise that and also remember it is something we practice. We integrate it into our rhythm of life and as we walk with the Lord, it will become a natural process of being with our Father.
In closing Graham I would re-emphasise how the process of lament is not an easy one and everyone will enter into it or ignore it according to their own life situations and spiritual belief systems. So I firmly believe that the process of lament within the Christian tradition can lead to greater trust, hope and praise for how God has helped us in the past and will do in the future.
Selah: (Pause to think calmly on what has just been read) and check out A Time to Worship and Motivational Moments
Julie
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