It was during the winter months and I was enjoying walking in the temple area when some Jews approached me asking, “How long will you keep us in suspense, tell us, are you The Christ?” I recognised with an aching soul that their hearts were still cold and locked. Nothing that I had done or said previously had convinced them of their salvation. I am sure that I displayed despair but they appeared not to notice. They remained unreceptive. They had a total lack of understanding about God’s heart and the reason that I was here.
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My eyes bore down on each one of them. I examined the lost souls individually, these were ‘Not’ my sheep and they would never recognise my voice. In my distress I turned away from their blindness. Why were they so afraid to have a relationship with God? The faithful Father who loved them and only asked for their love in return?
I spoke to these hurting souls drawing on God’s authority. “I and the Father are one,” looking round at their expressions I saw that they were incredulous and I noted that some were actually stooping down to collect stones. It was evident that their intention was to stone me. The general atmosphere was shifting and the underlying menace concerning me was tangible. They soon became a real threat and for my own safety, I had no choice but to escape.
I hastily left and crossed the Jordan river, going to the same place where in the early days, John had baptised many believers, including me. The religious leaders were now intent on getting rid of me and they began to seriously plot against me. I needed to warn my disciples about the future concerning my execution, which was fast approaching.
It was necessary but emotionally difficult, I had to tell my friends that I would soon suffer in Jerusalem and ultimately I would be put to death. Hot headed Peter, was aghast at my words. It wasn’t just the pain of my revelation, Peter badly wanted to protect me. My loyal follower however, would be a hindrance if I allowed his protest to go unchallenged.
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Looking at him I was firm, using a loud, commanding voice “Get thee behind me Satan,” in my heart I didn’t want to be so harsh towards my friend, but I had long ago agreed to the road I was on and I couldn’t allow anything to interfere with the plan. God enforced power into my words and from that moment on there was a change in Peter. I saw his eyes glisten with hurt at my rebuke, but he slowly bowed his head, as if in submission.
I told my disciples that I would be put to death but on the third day I would be resurrected! In my compassion I wanted to spare them all the details, it would be time enough when they had to witness all these things.
They were familiar with crucifixion as a means of execution, but previously in a detached way. I knew that to see me hanging on a cross would almost destroy them and they would question what the last three years of ministry had all been about. It was all in God’s hands and I was confident that He would work it out for good.
Each one listened attentively and apart from Peter they remained silent, subdued by my revelation. I could see that it was too much for them to take in, let alone for them to understand the reason behind it. Each one had their own private interpretation as they mulled over my words and they would decide what it would mean for them personally and how it would affect their lives. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)
As they listened, there was a dawning of understanding in their faces. I was saying that I required true commitment and they would have to overcome their selfish desires and trust ‘Me’ wherever I led them. I observed that this perception had caused fear in some of them as they struggled with their selfish desires.
A few days after this, Peter, James and John accompanied me up a very high mountain. The time of my arrest was approaching and I needed to see my Father, I longed for His reassurance. My legs where aching from the climb, but they were also shaking with excitement as I anticipated this meeting with God.
During my time of transfiguration: My face shone like the sun and the clothes that I was wearing became brilliant white. God was affirming to my friends whom I really was! Moses and Elijah were present but my Father remained hidden from my disciples, by a dense cloud. God spoke the words again that I longed to hear, “This is My Son, whom I love, with Him I am well pleased, listen to Him.” (Matthew 17:5)
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Peter, James and John were visibly shocked and fell face down trembling in fear. I reassured them and implored them not to speak about this to anyone until after my resurrection. The time had come for me to reinforce my words – that it was inevitable for me to be put to death and that they could do nothing to stop it. I needed them to be equipped and ready to serve God when my presence was no longer with them. On hearing my words they became grief stricken, it was the second time that I had clearly broached this subject.
I later took all twelve disciples aside and as gently as I was able, I brought up the subject of my death again. This time I explicitly told them that I would be betrayed, handed over to be flogged, mocked and then crucified. I reiterated that on the third day I would be raised to life! (Matthew 20:17-19)
Still they didn’t absorb and interpret the meaning in my prediction. They continued to demonstrate how little they comprehended. An argument broke out between them, about the position they thought they deserved to hold in the new kingdom. James and John’s mother even requested that her son’s would sit either side of me, as if in worship, she was insincere. These people continued to come to God to beseech Him for what they wanted in their selfish lives. I looked up to heaven, how long must I suffer these people?
When the other ten heard about this request they were all indignant. “Whoever wants to become great amongst you, must be a servant and whoever wants to be first must be a slave.” “Just as the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20: 26-28)
As we left Jericho we were followed by a large crowd. As we travelled I became aware of two blind men sitting by the side of the road. I was deeply moved by their plight, the crowd were trying to make them be quiet, but they shouted all the more loudly. “Lord son of David, have mercy on us.” They asked me to restore their sight. I reached out to touch their eyes and instantly God allowed them to see, they followed and I thanked my Father for his mercy and healing.
Carole Crossley
Chapter One – Jesus Leaves Home
Chapter Two – The Temptations of Jesus
Chapter Three – Jesus Looks for his Disciples
Chapter Four – Jesus’ Ministry
Chapter Five – The Miracles of Jesus
Chapter Six – Legion, Love and Lazarus
Chapter Seven – The Plot to Kill Jesus
Chapter Eight – Jesus the Man
Chapter Nine – Political Unrest
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